Senator JOYCE (Queensland—Leader of the Nationals in the Senate) (3.06 pm)—I move:
That the Senate take note of the answers given by the Leader of the Government in the Senate (Senator Evans) to questions without notice asked by Mr Abetz today, relating to the Labor government.
Isn’t it interesting: here we are down the track and it is the anniversary of having a Labor Party government, and what an absolutely roaring success the Labor Party government have been!
Let’s start with the war on obesity—and we could have a quick look around to see where Senator Carr has gone. Was the war on obesity a win, a draw or a loss? What is happening to the war on obesity? How are they going with the fat people? I was a bit worried that they were going to catch up with me for a while! What is happening with the war on obesity? What about the war on homelessness—the poor old people out in the parks? Was that a win; was that a draw? How did we go with the war on homelessness?
Of course, we also had GroceryWatch. What a roaring success GroceryWatch was! We were going to ‘ease the squeeze’. What a farce! Now we have one of the highest food inflation rates in the Western world. I could go on all day. There was the war on obesity and the war on homelessness. There was the war on executive salaries. That one was a big win. That was a real success. There was the war on inflation and the war on capitalism. Of course, when those bellicose people are finished with wars, they have to start a few revolutions.
Senator Cash interjecting—
Senator JOYCE—I will get to Kevin Rudd in a second. First of all, we had the education revolution. Remember the toolbox for the 21st century? In the end, only half the kids got it at twice the price and 30 per cent missed out. That was like the first and second Punic War. Then we had the Building the Education Revolution—another revolution. How did that revolution go? Even Kevin Rudd, the former Prime Minister, leaked to the press that it was a complete and utter disaster. These jokers are running the country! If you have had wars and you have had revolutions, there is only one thing left: an assassination—and we got one of those, too. We do not know whether it was the real Julia or the pretend Julia, but Mr Mark Arbib definitely had a lot to do with it. We had the assassination when, of course, they knocked off—
The DEPUTY PRESIDENT—Order! Senator Joyce, it is about time you started referring to people by their proper titles.
Senator JOYCE—Senator Arbib was definitely behind that one. He admits to it. Paul Howes, the man who writes books about himself—
Senator Abetz—The manless face!
Senator JOYCE—Yes, the manless face! Paul Howes is the only man I know who has written more books than he has read. Of course, the people opposite therefore decided to change their leadership.
We must go to their managerial critique. The ceiling insulation program was a roaring success! All they had to do was get fluffy stuff into the ceilings for the rats and mice to urinate on, and they could not even do that without setting fire to 190 houses and, tragically, the deaths of four people, which is serious.
There were the $900 cheques. Of course, this was how they were going to reboot the global economy with the purchase of flat screens. That was another absolute stroke of genius. Then they claimed responsibility for saving us from the financial crisis. I thought it was demand from China—I really did. I thought it was the sale of iron ore at record prices, the sale of coal at record prices, the fact that during that period our dollar had depreciated by 30 per cent, the fact that real interest rates during that period had gone down, the fact that the 31 March shipping figures showed we had record export of wheat. But, no, it was not that; it was the $900 cheques, used in poker machines, put in bank accounts, used to buy electronic goods, used to go on holidays to New Zealand. Of course, we rebooted the global economy from South Korea. That is how it was supposed to have worked. That is how the $900 cheques worked.
Then we had the carbon pollution reduction scheme—the greatest moral challenge of our time. They were going to cool the planet from a room in Canberra. Of course they could do it! Penny Wong was behind it. She was so driven by this that, when the greatest moral challenge—
The DEPUTY PRESIDENT—Order! You must refer to people by their proper titles.
Senator JOYCE—Senator Wong was so driven by the greatest moral challenge of our time that, when the challenge got a bit too challenging, she left and became the minister for finance. People like this are running the country. We got all that and we are currently $172.8 billion in gross debt. Our debt last week went up by $2.8 billion. In one week our debt has gone up by more than the government’s projected surplus in—whatever it is—2013. They managed to put more on the credit card in one week than they project the surplus will be in two or three years time. These people are running the country. They are running it into the ground. It is an absolute disaster. The Australian people will wake up to it, because now they want to build a telephone company. It is Pythonesque! (Time expired)